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Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Boobie Love!

As a fashion accessory blogger, I have endless opportunities to write about the hottest new trends in scarves, necklaces, earrings etc., but “hot new bras” is generally not at the top of my list of exciting things to write about.  I mean I don’t know a woman who doesn’t have issues with her boobs.  My personal story is common.  My breasts started sagging from about age 15…I am not kidding.  Then over the years, I lost weight, gained weight, lost weight, gained weight….lost weight, lost more weight… then I had kids, breast fed, lost baby weight, gained weight, didn’t take care of myself so I gained more weight, went through peri-menopause (no words to describe) and now, gravity has waged war on my whole freaking body and my boobs are along for that ride as well.  So my breasts are not in their original location, my nipples are in the downward dog position and if you have ever put a bean bag in a sock…you get an idea of my breasts’ overall shape. 
But I am not O.L.D.  I still want to wear pretty clothes, feel sexy and look put together and I want my breasts to be in the right place…meaning I don’t want to sling them across my shoulder like a continental soldier!  Now, we all know that bras, shapers and other undergarments are called “foundations” because they really set the stage for the whole fashion ensemble. But, I haven’t gotten excited about them since SPANX came on the scene and smoothed out my muffin top!  Now with all the gorgeous backless, side –less, and /or plunging tops in diaphanous flowing fabrics on the market…the question always lurks…what the heck type of bra do I where under this? 
First let me step back and say…I HATE STRAPLESS BRAS!  They are so uncomfortable, they dig all around the band but my boobs flow out the top or they kinda jiggle around in there like jello.  I am not sure there is any lifting going on with the strapless bras I have tried, they are ridiculous contraptions that frankly are fooling no one.  Am I the only one who has had one literally rotate half way around my body or how about that super attractive roll of back fat they create above and underneath the band?  I especially love when I move one way and the strapless bra goes the other way.  So, when I say, I hate strapless bras, I have good reason.  They aren’t flattering and at least for me with my DD’s, they do nothing to lift at all.  So I can’t go sans bra, I hate strapless bras…what is a girl to do?
Enter, the Bring It Up Breast Shapers….and I have to say…they are “drop the mic” A.MAZ.ING.  They look like two pieces of oblong shaped bologna (they are actually made of silicone so don’t try to snack on them) that are applied under the nipple and they literally lift up the breast by pulling on the top of the bologna!!!  They are called shapers for good reason because they took my pendulous, flabby, wide boobs and sort of shaped them into a nice ball and put them back up where they were decades ago.  What is great is that they come in sizes to fit up to a DDD cup.  Even though I wear a 36 DDD at Victoria’s Secret, I get the DD shaper and it is perfect.  I find these are sized more like a traditional bra, like Maidenform or Wacoal whereas Victoria’s Secret is more vanity sized to make everyone seem voluptuous!  If you have wide boobs like me, you can pull them in toward the middle to make cleavage which is nice.
Coincidently, I bought the breast shapers for a friend, just because I thought she would like them.  Turns out she loves them but not for the same reasons I do.  You see, she suffers from fibromyalgia so she has a lot of pain…all over.  She finds it unbearable to wear even the lightest bras because she can’t handle the feeling of the material against her skin—the straps, the fasteners anything that rubs her skin…she had taken to wearing loose unstructured clothes so she wouldn’t have to wear a bra even though that made her feel self-conscious because she has larger breasts.  The Bring It Up Breast Shapers have helped her in so many ways.  They are comfortable because they are gentle, and there are no areas of pressure to give her pain.  I love these shapers for giving my friend back her wardrobe and sanity.  But I must selfishly confess…the Bring It Up Breast Shapers have helped me get my groove back…BAM…I have always wanted to say that!

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